Counter dependency relationships dating, counter-Dependency and Love Avoidance
They are otherwise non receiving of love out of a deep need to avoid it. Instead of displaying true autonomy this actually shows a great fear.
Healing your relationship of counter-dependency-the other side of co-dependency. Overcoming codependency and counter-dependency in relationships is possible, but it takes work. At the core of counter-dependency is an inability to trust or be intimate with others. Unrelenting in their independence, men and dating games counter-dependents base their lives on the fact that they are fully self-supporting in all ways.
Counter-Dependency and Love Avoidance
Being in any kind of relationship professional or personal with someone who is appears counter-dependent can be extremely frustrating and exhausting. Well, how familiar are you with the other half of this equation, counter-dependency? Counter-Dependency and Love Avoidance Counter-dependency is the term given to the other person in the relationship who uses the caregiving of the codependent to their advantage.
However, I often find myself working with someone who happens to be in a close relationship with a counter-dependent person. Counter-dependency and Love Avoidance Every codependent relationship has two parts. They find benefit in allowing their needs to be served by the codependent. It is imperative that I make clear that these terms are meant to describe patterns of behavior, not to diagnose people.
Especially in a relationship where the other partner is codependent this can lead to a lot of pain and disappointment. However, not all the blame is to be put on their neediness. At some level, the other person in the relationship has a neediness too. Call today for more information. Until they learn to open up and be vulnerable, their cycle will not cease.
Unfortunately, in America this kind of behavior is considered somewhat within our social norm. Due to traumas of the past and patterns of insecure attachments, the counter-dependent has a fear of what consequences could be faced by trusting and loving others. After all, it takes two to have one person become codependent on the other.
If each partner agrees to do their part separately as well as together, healing may prevail. Sometimes it may call for the relationship to end, however, counseling can be of great help. We all seem to know someone who behaves like this at times.
If you feel that you are avoiding love and intimate relationships in your life, the Center for Life Change can help you learn to trust. Defiant and avoidant, the counter-dependent will find means of staying away from intimate situations or relationships.
In a codependent relationship, one has found themselves giving endlessly without receiving anything in return. When the opportunity presents itself to create deep connection, meaning, and emotion with someone else, the counter-dependent will participate in what is called love-avoidance.
Missing out on intimacy from others is a way to protect the counter-dependent from others, but it only contributes to their internal environment of loneliness and true needs that may never be met. As a therapist at Life Skills Resource Group in Orlando, I do not find myself working with the counter-dependent person. These oppositional forces connect all too easily and make for an extremely unstable relationship. These needs can be external and internal, though the internal will likely be undefined.
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